In Praise of Rest, Why We Need It and How To Slop About More (From The Most Active Rester You Know).

Rest is a big problem. Work gets praised. Busyness gets admired. Exhaustion gets treated like proof that someone is serious, useful, disciplined, or strong person.

I dont say this with ease because being the highly productive person that i am, ive had to learn rest. I am an active rester lol.

Our last trip to Europe made me realise that in Italy, there's less emphasis on measuring everything. I've been to Europe three times and find I thrive there, enjoying the freedom from overanalyzing. Even a holiday cigarette or lunchtime wine is just part of living, without judgment. This need for adding so much meaning to everything is exhausting and boring.

We even need rest from overthinking everything or putting things in a “good/bad” category. We need to losen up ever so slightly.

Rest, is often made to feel suspicious. A nap becomes lazy. A slow morning becomes indulgent. An empty weekend becomes something to apologise for. Not in my family. We relish. My youngest sister Amber is great at rest and she's been a really good influence on me in this area of life.

Its a strange way to live, because rest is not a reward for finishing life. It is part of life itself. We need it to think clearly, feel ourselves, feel vibrant in our spirit, and return to ourselves after the world has asked too much.

There will always be something to keep up with. The quiet pressure to become a better version of yourself by next Monday. I wont live this way. I love balance, i value balance and i physically need balance.

This all comes with age. At 40 refusing to keep up becomes a form of wisdom. Not bitterness. Not giving up. Wisdom.

It means energy is limited. If everything gets a claim on your time, nothing gets your real presence.

Not keeping up and not caring can sound careless, but it can also be deeply sane.

There is freedom in letting some things pass without chasing them.

The hustle makes ordinary life feel inadequate

Hustle can be quite relentless, often disguising itself as ambition, urging us to wake earlier, do more, and achieve more. While effort and purposeful work can be fulfilling (i know for me i live in seasons and actually LOVE hustling when the energy says so) the issue arises when effort becomes our identity, making stillness feel unsafe and quiet days seem wasted. The hustle teaches us to treat ourselves as projects, where every hour must prove its value, and even rest is seen only as a tool for future productivity. Rest deserves better, and so do we. We must relish in life and frolic. We must slop about.

Why rest matters in real life

Rest helps the body recover, but it also gives the mind space to sort itself out. Anyone who has solved a problem in the shower or felt calmer after a walk knows this in a practical way. I always say the longer the walk the better the thoughts.

When every moment is filled, thoughts have nowhere to land. Feelings stay half processed. Decisions get made from urgency rather than clarity. Life becomes fast and very stressful.

This is not a promise that rest will fix everything. Life can be hard for reasons that a quiet afternoon cannot solve. Life can just be stressful. Im in a heavy parenting stage and my blood pressure can feel it with a very loud house and non stop movement with small kids. But snippets of rest will show my kids and husband that i care about me. I respect myself enough to let them see me stop and lay on the grass. Thats so attractive.

It is a basic need. Treating it as optional makes hard things harder. In Italy this wouldnt even be a topic. Nobody needs to write this in Europe.

How to prioritise rest without turning it into another job

The danger of writing about rest is that it can become another instruction. Another way to improve. Another standard to fail.

So keep it simple.

Just slow down and stop adding so much meaning to everything. That's what im doing.

Stop making rest earn its place

You do not need to justify rest by promising to become more productive afterwards. You can rest because you are tired. You can rest because the day has been full. You can rest because being alive in a demanding world takes energy.

That is enough.

Let the world continue without you for a while

Simplify & notice simple things.

Letting go of the hustle does not mean losing ambition or refusing responsibility. It means refusing to be ruled by rush and urgency. It means choosing a pace that leaves some of you intact at the end of the day.

Rest is not the opposite of living well. It is one of the ways we live well.

Mary x